Cousteau is largely a fearless dog. I can really only remember one time that he was frozen in fear and that's when he saw a mylar balloon as a puppy. He froze in the middle of a busy intersection while commuters, ummm, encouraged us out of the road. I was so amused that my big, tough dog was scared of something as simple as a balloon that I burst out laughing. Cousteau had long since figured out that laughter was a good thing so as I chuckled my way over to the balloon he was willing to brave a sniff. Then he tried to eat the balloon...
Havana is a more aware dog. She's supposed to be, she's a herding dog. Still, I'm not a fan of her spooking at things she's been fine with before, nor do I want to encourage wariness around new things. I learned my lesson from Cousteau - when Havana shies away from something I look at her and say "It's nothing to be afraid of, silly girl" in a matter of fact tone of voice. I can usually get a laugh out, too, which further reassures her that the scary thing probably won't kill her. She'll never be as blase about things as Cousteau is, but she's learned to take her cues from me and react less to things she might otherwise be afraid of.
There have been a few times when something or someone has startled me and I jumped or otherwise reacted before I thought. I'm normally a pretty jumpy person, too. When my first reaction is one of caution or a startle response, I have a much harder time convincing Havana that whatever is present is no threat to her. With practice I've gotten much better at taking a breath before reacting so I can re-evaluate how I want to respond.
Now my BabyBug is like Cousteau in her fearlessness, but I know there are a few things that upset her. One of these things is loud, unexpected noises. The first time my Dad drove his Harley up the driveway near her she just about lost it. It took a lot of fast talking from my mom and I to convince her that the Harley is fun, not scary. She's still not crazy about that classic Harley sound close to her, but she enjoys picking motorcycle sounds out whenever we're outside.
Remembering Bug's reaction to the unexpected Harley noise, I was prepared when we were running errands and a thunderstorm came up. The first crash of thunder sounded and as Bug whipped her head around to see my reaction, I started quoting from Dr. Seuss' book Mr. Brown Can Moo, Can You? "BoomBoomBoom! Mr. Brown is a wonder. BoomBoomBoom, Mr. Brown makes thunder!" Between my silliness and the memory of a favorite book, she relaxed. By the end of the storm she would hear the thunder and gasp in delight shouting "BoomBoomBoom!" waiting for me to finish the quote.
Fortunately Bug isn't quite as in tune to me as Havana is. I did startle her earlier this week while we were weeding. I pulled a weed and a clump of dirt jumped. Being jumpy by nature, I squealed and hopped back. Bug looked at me with concern and I figured out it was a toad and not mutant mud on the attack. I explained to Bug "I wasn't expecting that silly toad to jump. He surprised me!" After showing her the toad, who then got the heck out of there (smart toad - Bug likes to hug and kiss everything that catches her attention), she was completely over her concern about my reaction.
Friday, June 8, 2007
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Food Fights?
Now, I'll admit I have a Lab who eats everything, so I've never really had to experience the frustation of a dog who tries to starve himself. However, the cairn terrier I had growing up would just randomly decide she wasn't hungry. One day she'd eat all of her kibble, the next she'd take a bite or two and that was that, then maybe she'd eat only half of her food for the next week. My parents never let us get upset about it. She ate what she ate and it was offered between 5 and 5:30 pm - whatever she didn't eat was just put away and fed the next day. She lived to be 16 years old and weighed exactly 12 lbs her entire adult life. She was still up to doing 5 mile hikes at the age of 12, so apparently she knew what she was doing when it came to eating.
Havana is slightly more discriminating than Cousteau. My dogs eat a raw diet and the first time I introduced lamb it sat in her dish for awhile. I gave her 15 minutes and whatever was still there was placed back in the fridge until the next meal. That evening she ate it all just fine. We went through the same thing with pork and again, one after one missed meal she decided the new food wasn't so evil. Organ meat is a different story. If organs aren't mixed in with her food, she won't eat them plain.
I repeated the "take up the dish until the next meal" routine with organ meat on top of her other food. Nope, she ate around the organs again. I've offered them to her on several different occasions and each time she looks into the bowl, looks at me, then eats everything she can without touching the organ blend. She just doesn't like them!
Now, I could get worried about this - after all, dogs are supposed to like organ meat. In fact, in a home prepared raw diet, organs are essential. I could spoon feed the organs to her, force feed them, saute them in olive oil and garlic, beg and cry, or find a way to hide the organs so she will eat them. I've elected to hide her organ meat. And if she doesn't eat it a time or two, she's not going to keel over and die. My meals aren't all perfectly balanced, but I do achieve a balanced diet over time. My feeding methods seem really harsh to some people, but it works for me and my dogs are all very healthy.
I employ the same basic philosophy for feeding BabyBug. Granted, her meat is cooked instead of raw, but overall, I'm not going to cater to her every dietary whim. For the most part, Bug's attitude toward food is the same as Cousteau's (the hazards of a baby's first solid "food" being Lab fur, I guess). Sometimes she just isn't hungry, or she is feeling picky. Thankfully a friend told me that toddlers can be like that sometimes so I knew not to worry too much the first time it happened.
What we do with Bug is pretty simple. Whatever is on her plate is what she's offered that meal. If she doesn't want it, she doesn't have to eat it, but I'm not going to keep offering her foods at that meal until she does eat. She can sit at the table with us and we'll offer her bites from time to time, but if she refuses, it's not a big deal. And when she says she's done, we let her be done regardless of how much she's eaten.
Generally speaking, Bug likes to try new foods, especially if Momma and Daddy are clearly enjoying it. (This is another way Bug and Cousteau are so much alike!) I always encourage her to eat one bite of everything on her plate and if she doesn't want it after that, then she doesn't have to eat it. This is different from my house growing up where the rule was "clean your plate or you don't get dessert", even if the meal was pot roast, mashed potatoes, and lima bean succotash - yech!!! But I was going to choke that down for the promise of a cookie afterwards. It's not my parents' fault - that's what children were expected to do back then - but I have just recently taken off 30 lbs and had to re-evaluate how I eat. I figured out a big part of my problem was the eating habits I learned as a child. So we never force Bug to clean her plate. And as a result, at her 18 month check up, the nurse looked over Bug's records and double checked her weight and said it was unusual for an 18 month old to gain weight from the 12 month check up. Bug's weight is perfect for her height, but even though she's *extremely* active, she eats enough to make up for the expended calories. The nurse was impressed. :)
I will add that I always have something I know she will eat on her plate. If we're trying something new with her - like pork chops - and I don't know how she'll feel about them, I will put a few pieces of pork on her plate, but be sure to have something like corn or cheese on her plate, too. That way if she truly doesn't like the pork but is hungry, she still has something she enjoys eating to fill her up. I also introduce a food several times. For months Bug would have nothing to do with chicken, but every time I made chicken I would place a bite on her plate and encourage her to eat it. She would refuse. Last month, after at least 10 refused chicken offerings, she ate the meat off of an entire chicken leg! She still isn't a big chicken eater, but whenever she takes a bite we let her know we're happy she's trying something new and leave it at that.
By taking a "she'll eat when she's hungry" approach for my dog and my baby, both of whom I know have no medical problems, meal times are a lot less stressful than they would be if I obsessed over what was and was not going into her mouth. It makes meal times much more fun for everyone.
Havana is slightly more discriminating than Cousteau. My dogs eat a raw diet and the first time I introduced lamb it sat in her dish for awhile. I gave her 15 minutes and whatever was still there was placed back in the fridge until the next meal. That evening she ate it all just fine. We went through the same thing with pork and again, one after one missed meal she decided the new food wasn't so evil. Organ meat is a different story. If organs aren't mixed in with her food, she won't eat them plain.
I repeated the "take up the dish until the next meal" routine with organ meat on top of her other food. Nope, she ate around the organs again. I've offered them to her on several different occasions and each time she looks into the bowl, looks at me, then eats everything she can without touching the organ blend. She just doesn't like them!
Now, I could get worried about this - after all, dogs are supposed to like organ meat. In fact, in a home prepared raw diet, organs are essential. I could spoon feed the organs to her, force feed them, saute them in olive oil and garlic, beg and cry, or find a way to hide the organs so she will eat them. I've elected to hide her organ meat. And if she doesn't eat it a time or two, she's not going to keel over and die. My meals aren't all perfectly balanced, but I do achieve a balanced diet over time. My feeding methods seem really harsh to some people, but it works for me and my dogs are all very healthy.
I employ the same basic philosophy for feeding BabyBug. Granted, her meat is cooked instead of raw, but overall, I'm not going to cater to her every dietary whim. For the most part, Bug's attitude toward food is the same as Cousteau's (the hazards of a baby's first solid "food" being Lab fur, I guess). Sometimes she just isn't hungry, or she is feeling picky. Thankfully a friend told me that toddlers can be like that sometimes so I knew not to worry too much the first time it happened.
What we do with Bug is pretty simple. Whatever is on her plate is what she's offered that meal. If she doesn't want it, she doesn't have to eat it, but I'm not going to keep offering her foods at that meal until she does eat. She can sit at the table with us and we'll offer her bites from time to time, but if she refuses, it's not a big deal. And when she says she's done, we let her be done regardless of how much she's eaten.
Generally speaking, Bug likes to try new foods, especially if Momma and Daddy are clearly enjoying it. (This is another way Bug and Cousteau are so much alike!) I always encourage her to eat one bite of everything on her plate and if she doesn't want it after that, then she doesn't have to eat it. This is different from my house growing up where the rule was "clean your plate or you don't get dessert", even if the meal was pot roast, mashed potatoes, and lima bean succotash - yech!!! But I was going to choke that down for the promise of a cookie afterwards. It's not my parents' fault - that's what children were expected to do back then - but I have just recently taken off 30 lbs and had to re-evaluate how I eat. I figured out a big part of my problem was the eating habits I learned as a child. So we never force Bug to clean her plate. And as a result, at her 18 month check up, the nurse looked over Bug's records and double checked her weight and said it was unusual for an 18 month old to gain weight from the 12 month check up. Bug's weight is perfect for her height, but even though she's *extremely* active, she eats enough to make up for the expended calories. The nurse was impressed. :)
I will add that I always have something I know she will eat on her plate. If we're trying something new with her - like pork chops - and I don't know how she'll feel about them, I will put a few pieces of pork on her plate, but be sure to have something like corn or cheese on her plate, too. That way if she truly doesn't like the pork but is hungry, she still has something she enjoys eating to fill her up. I also introduce a food several times. For months Bug would have nothing to do with chicken, but every time I made chicken I would place a bite on her plate and encourage her to eat it. She would refuse. Last month, after at least 10 refused chicken offerings, she ate the meat off of an entire chicken leg! She still isn't a big chicken eater, but whenever she takes a bite we let her know we're happy she's trying something new and leave it at that.
By taking a "she'll eat when she's hungry" approach for my dog and my baby, both of whom I know have no medical problems, meal times are a lot less stressful than they would be if I obsessed over what was and was not going into her mouth. It makes meal times much more fun for everyone.
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Extinction Burst
When Cousteau was about 18 months old he developed a terribly annoying habit of barking wildly and jumping at me whenever he wanted something, like the tennis ball or a treat. I read up and realized that Cousteau was doing something called a "demand bark" - essentially demanding whatever it was he wanted by being obnoxious. The best way to deal with this is to ignore the dog during that bad behavior, then redirect or do what the dog wanted when he calms down.
The problem with ignoring the dog is if he doesn't get what he wanted by barking, he's going to continue barking harder and harder and being more and more obnoxious, because barking and being a brat is what worked in the past. Sort of like when my husband tried to control the TiVo when the remote had dead batteries. Pushing the buttons always got what he wanted in the past, so he kept trying it, with slight variations before finally trying something different. The key is to *not* give into the bad behavior while it escalates, since it will eventually stop and the dog will try something new. This is called an extinction burst in the psychology world. If you do give in at the height of the extinction burst, you've made your job that much harder, since you just taught that job that if at first he doesn't succeed, try, try, try again.
Within about 3 weeks, Cousteau stopped demand barking, since every time he barked, I turned my back and walked away from him. He very rarely barks now since sitting politely and looking tends to get him what he wants much more quickly. Don't get me wrong, it was a long 3 weeks. I got several bruises and scratches from his annoying display and the neighbors thought we'd really lost it, but in the end it was so worth it.
Tonight we experienced a case of demand "barking" and an extinction burst with BabyBug. The child is addicted to Elmo, much like I'm addicted to chocolate chip cookies. In both cases, they're wonderful and we'd both indulge all day, but neither addiction is good for us. Bug walked into the living room, sat down, and requested Elmo. I told her "No. No Elmo today." Her Daddy walked into the room and she again requested Elmo. He told her "No. Momma says no Elmo today." From that point on, Bug pleaded, demanded, screamed, and shrieked about Elmo. Over and over ElmoElmoElmoElmoElmoElmoElmo. Then she got crafty and started getting into trouble in the hopes we'd put on Elmo to distract her. That didn't work, so she went back to shrieking Elmo.
This wasn't fun by any means, but there was no reason to turn the TV on in the middle of such a nice day. DH and I kept looking at each other and trying not to grimace or laugh, depending on what method Bug was using to cajole us, but other than repeating "No. No Elmo today." we ignored her.
Finally our persistance paid off and Bug found something else to do. She sorted a toy set for awhile and then brewed some tea for her Daddy and I. Then we read a couple of Elmo books. :) It was a sweet day and we wouldn't have had that if we'd given in let her watch TV. And with any luck, she's starting to learn that when Momma and Daddy say "no", we do mean it. A mom can hope, right?
The problem with ignoring the dog is if he doesn't get what he wanted by barking, he's going to continue barking harder and harder and being more and more obnoxious, because barking and being a brat is what worked in the past. Sort of like when my husband tried to control the TiVo when the remote had dead batteries. Pushing the buttons always got what he wanted in the past, so he kept trying it, with slight variations before finally trying something different. The key is to *not* give into the bad behavior while it escalates, since it will eventually stop and the dog will try something new. This is called an extinction burst in the psychology world. If you do give in at the height of the extinction burst, you've made your job that much harder, since you just taught that job that if at first he doesn't succeed, try, try, try again.
Within about 3 weeks, Cousteau stopped demand barking, since every time he barked, I turned my back and walked away from him. He very rarely barks now since sitting politely and looking tends to get him what he wants much more quickly. Don't get me wrong, it was a long 3 weeks. I got several bruises and scratches from his annoying display and the neighbors thought we'd really lost it, but in the end it was so worth it.
Tonight we experienced a case of demand "barking" and an extinction burst with BabyBug. The child is addicted to Elmo, much like I'm addicted to chocolate chip cookies. In both cases, they're wonderful and we'd both indulge all day, but neither addiction is good for us. Bug walked into the living room, sat down, and requested Elmo. I told her "No. No Elmo today." Her Daddy walked into the room and she again requested Elmo. He told her "No. Momma says no Elmo today." From that point on, Bug pleaded, demanded, screamed, and shrieked about Elmo. Over and over ElmoElmoElmoElmoElmoElmoElmo. Then she got crafty and started getting into trouble in the hopes we'd put on Elmo to distract her. That didn't work, so she went back to shrieking Elmo.
This wasn't fun by any means, but there was no reason to turn the TV on in the middle of such a nice day. DH and I kept looking at each other and trying not to grimace or laugh, depending on what method Bug was using to cajole us, but other than repeating "No. No Elmo today." we ignored her.
Finally our persistance paid off and Bug found something else to do. She sorted a toy set for awhile and then brewed some tea for her Daddy and I. Then we read a couple of Elmo books. :) It was a sweet day and we wouldn't have had that if we'd given in let her watch TV. And with any luck, she's starting to learn that when Momma and Daddy say "no", we do mean it. A mom can hope, right?
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Be Careful What You Wish For...
I hate puppies. Really. They're great when they belong to someone else and I can pet them and watch them play and then they go somewhere else, but I'd rather not have a puppy in my home. Ironically, last summer I brought a puppy into my home. While I prefer a completely untrained, full grown adolescent dog any day of the week, I knew I wanted a performance pet and I stood a better chance of getting that with a puppy than a rescue dog. Don't get me wrong, rescued dogs can be awesome performers, but for a variety of reasons, I got a collie puppy. I don't regret getting her, I just wish she'd been born an adolescent and skip the whole puppy thing.
Puppies are some of the most adorable things on this planet, for the first 5 months or so. Then they start to look like adults and act like teenagers with sharp teeth. They still tend to pee on everything, may not be sleeping through the night yet, and have the attention span of a gnat with ADHD.
While my Havana was adorable, she was also all of the above. She'd pee on the floor and I'd say "I can't wait until you're 7 or 8 months and have a big enough bladder to hold it better." She'd go into the show ring and wiggle around and I'd say "I wish you were older already so you'd be less wiggly for the judge." The little beastie still chews on inappropriate things and I say "I can't wait for you to be two when you're more likely to stop that sort of thing." The list goes on and on.
Havana is a year now and much of her annoying puppiness is gone. She still has some problems - like the chewing - that are on going, but at least she's got a bigger bladder and a longer attention span. I don't miss her puppy days at all. If I do, I look at her pictures, remember how cute she was, but also how sharp her teeth were and how much she barked and my puppy pangs are gone. She is a wonderful dog because of her puppyhood and I'm grateful for it, but I'm also grateful those days are a minority compared to the long life I hope we'll have together.
In contrast, I have loved just about every minute of BabyBug's life so far. Even when she gets into tantrums or is sick, I keep telling myself that this won't last forever. And when she is older and gets angry or frustrated, those tantrums are probably going to look pretty good. And she may not want to cuddle with me on the couch when she's sick, so I try to look for the good in the bad times.
I recently caught myself saying "I can't wait for you to be able to really talk." I instantly took it back. I can wait. It's just so much fun hearing her pick the words to formulate her thoughts. Yesterday she realized my husband wasn't in his office and she thought about it for a little bit and said "Bye bye...Daddy. Bye bye." It was neat, much neater than if she was able to say right off the bat "Daddy's not in his office right now. Where did he go?" Those days will come soon enough. These days of exploring language are just so short.
Thinking back, I had to make myself slow down and enjoy her current moments several times. Yes, I couldn't wait for her to roll over, but then she didn't want to nap curled up in my arms on the couch. I wished that she could walk so I didn't have to break my back carrying her all of the time - but then she wouldn't do her funky little Frankenbaby crawl, so I stopped wishing. I knew enough not to wish her into walking too fast after that - after all, then nothing in the house would be sacred! (And it's not...) I was excited for her to eat solid food, but I didn't push it too fast because I was finally enjoying nursing her.
It's ironic that someone who is trying desperately to hold onto every moment of my child's babyhood would wish my dog's puppyhood away so quickly. I'm not sure why it is, but there you go. Whether it's a puppy or a baby, be careful what you wish for, because you might just get it! And if you do, who knows what you'll be giving up in return for the new horizons.
Puppies are some of the most adorable things on this planet, for the first 5 months or so. Then they start to look like adults and act like teenagers with sharp teeth. They still tend to pee on everything, may not be sleeping through the night yet, and have the attention span of a gnat with ADHD.
While my Havana was adorable, she was also all of the above. She'd pee on the floor and I'd say "I can't wait until you're 7 or 8 months and have a big enough bladder to hold it better." She'd go into the show ring and wiggle around and I'd say "I wish you were older already so you'd be less wiggly for the judge." The little beastie still chews on inappropriate things and I say "I can't wait for you to be two when you're more likely to stop that sort of thing." The list goes on and on.
Havana is a year now and much of her annoying puppiness is gone. She still has some problems - like the chewing - that are on going, but at least she's got a bigger bladder and a longer attention span. I don't miss her puppy days at all. If I do, I look at her pictures, remember how cute she was, but also how sharp her teeth were and how much she barked and my puppy pangs are gone. She is a wonderful dog because of her puppyhood and I'm grateful for it, but I'm also grateful those days are a minority compared to the long life I hope we'll have together.
In contrast, I have loved just about every minute of BabyBug's life so far. Even when she gets into tantrums or is sick, I keep telling myself that this won't last forever. And when she is older and gets angry or frustrated, those tantrums are probably going to look pretty good. And she may not want to cuddle with me on the couch when she's sick, so I try to look for the good in the bad times.
I recently caught myself saying "I can't wait for you to be able to really talk." I instantly took it back. I can wait. It's just so much fun hearing her pick the words to formulate her thoughts. Yesterday she realized my husband wasn't in his office and she thought about it for a little bit and said "Bye bye...Daddy. Bye bye." It was neat, much neater than if she was able to say right off the bat "Daddy's not in his office right now. Where did he go?" Those days will come soon enough. These days of exploring language are just so short.
Thinking back, I had to make myself slow down and enjoy her current moments several times. Yes, I couldn't wait for her to roll over, but then she didn't want to nap curled up in my arms on the couch. I wished that she could walk so I didn't have to break my back carrying her all of the time - but then she wouldn't do her funky little Frankenbaby crawl, so I stopped wishing. I knew enough not to wish her into walking too fast after that - after all, then nothing in the house would be sacred! (And it's not...) I was excited for her to eat solid food, but I didn't push it too fast because I was finally enjoying nursing her.
It's ironic that someone who is trying desperately to hold onto every moment of my child's babyhood would wish my dog's puppyhood away so quickly. I'm not sure why it is, but there you go. Whether it's a puppy or a baby, be careful what you wish for, because you might just get it! And if you do, who knows what you'll be giving up in return for the new horizons.
Friday, March 9, 2007
Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow
I recently did a behavior consult with someone who just adopted a puppy from the rescue I work with. The dog has some issues with being left alone. One of the points I really stressed is to make leaving and coming back very low key, even to the point of ignoring the dog apart from a "see ya later". The farewell should be very basic and dull, but the dog should be left with some kind of special treat to enjoy while alone.
The day after the consult I needed to leave BabyBug with my mom. Whenever I leave Bug with a sitter I make goofy faces, dance around waving bye-bye, blow kisses, generally make a fool out of myself. I started doing this the first time I left Bug with my aunt and Bug was a bit alarmed to be left. My aunt was about ready to slug me when I started playing and hiding and popping out again to say "bye bye!", but pretty soon Bug was lauging. Once she was happy I left and she was fine for the evening.
Now, I do know that dogs and children are different creatures, but why does the "bye-bye" game work for Bug and not for my dogs? Why do my dogs prefer that I leave with a "see ya" and a treat while Bug gets upset if that's all I do? After much thought, it became clear - in both cases I've made my leaving a ritual to look forward to. If the dogs only get stuffed Kongs when I leave, then hey, don't let the door hit me on the way out! And Bug gets to play a bit of peek-a-boo, hang out outside for a bit, and show off her waving and kiss-blowing skills when I leave. What constitutes "fun" is different for different creatures, but it's important that being left by the primary caregiver is a fun event and not something to dread.
One other thing that seems to be the same for both dogs and children is to make it known that you're leaving, rather than sneaking off. If you make a habit of sneaking off and then disappearing, you will never be able to go anywhere alone again. Neither dogs nor babies will want to risk you leaving the room for fear that you'll go "poof" - and if you try you'll probably wind up with some screaming.
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